How to build a foundation for realistic resolutions

By Jeremy Savage

Now that it’s January, many of us are making resolutions for the New Year. Many of us will pledge to lose weight, go to the gym more often, or maybe pay off accumulated debt. We tend to reflect on the previous year and look at all of the things that haven’t worked for us and go to work on fixing what’s wrong.

Inevitably, gym membership sales will soar, as evidenced by the inability to find any parking at 24-Hour Fitness, despite the multi-floor garage.

Perhaps our resolve continues through the end of the month, and then, predictably, we begin to lose our resolve. The parking lot thins once again, and we change our gym status from “member” to “donor” once more.

We find ourselves stuck with the same old problems that we set out to resolve in the first place. Why is it that? Certainly we’ve got all the answers.

Want to lose weight? Exercise more and eat fewer calories.

Get out of debt? Earn more, spend less.

Clearly, knowing how to do all of these things doesn’t make a difference – not really.

To help illustrate, let me use a construction parable. Mind you, I’m a counselor – not a construction worker. Nevertheless, humor me as I make a point. Consider you’re making plans to build your dream house. You’ve consulted with the best architects, you’ve found the ideal plot of land in the perfect part of the city, and you’ve already begun to choose the perfect furnishings that add just the right touch. Soon, the weeds and trees are cleared from the lot, and the building begins. The foundation is poured, the walls begin to rise, and before you know it, your dream materializes and you move in.

Fast-forward 20 years or so. The quaint ranch home that you built isn’t quite working for you today. You envision a larger home with two stories, a finished basement with high ceilings, and perhaps even an attached garage. You could remodel, but after experimenting on your favorite home-design website, you realize that no matter how you shift things around, the size of the house is going to stay the same. No matter how many walls you move, floors you refinish, or windows you replace, there’s simply no way to change the size of the house. You realize you’re just fixing and redesigning. After all the restructuring, your 1,000 square-foot bungalow remains a 1,000 square foot bungalow. Using the existing foundation, you just get more of the same, in a different shape.

Now, consider that the home in this proverb is illustrative of your life. It’s not so far a stretch from there to consider that remodeling is similar to resolutions we make at the New Year. Our resolutions do not typically work because our foundation hasn’t changed. We haven’t invented anything new. That resolution to lose weight? It’s built on the foundation of “I’m too fat.” Most resolutions are built on a broken foundation of what’s not working. On these foundations, the structures we build are entirely appropriate and fitting. What happens on a foundation of “I’m too fat?” Poor diet, little exercise followed by attempts to change, followed by little exercise. The cycle continues. So how do we get out of this cycle?

It’s rather clear what’s needed now, isn’t it? A new foundation.

This year, instead of losing weight, how about resolving to be healthy and well? Instead of resolving to get out of debt, resolve to have abundance and prosperity. This resolution is something that occurs in a moment, by a simple declaration. Just as the resolution “I’m going to lose weight” built on a foundation of “I’m too fat” results in structures perfectly correlated to the foundation (the over-eating and exercising cycle), a foundation of “I have a healthy body” results in structures perfectly correlated to it – a healthy diet balanced with appropriate levels of exercise.

To create effective resolutions for the New Year, try a simple three-step approach:

1. Identify what you would like to change.
2. Consider if there is a foundation that supports the issue you identified.
3. Create a new foundation that supportsthe outcome you’re seeking.

Now, watch what begins to spring up from your new foundation. Give it a try – you may be delightfully surprised at how simply and easily your desired results begin to appear!

Jeremy Savage is a National Board Certified Counselor in private practice holding a Master of Arts degree in Counseling from Regis University. He can be reached at Jeremy@getcomplete.org or 720-458-3150.