Creating your own sense of family within the LGBT community

I just returned from a trip back to the place I was born, and where my roots are the oldest.

Surrounded by extended family members, I began to think about the definition of family, with regards to the LGBT community in particular.

So many people in the LGBT community don’t have relationships with their biological families, so we’ve become experts at creating family.

We create families with people like our exes, lovers, roommates, teammates and relatives of our partners and loved ones. These days, we are allowed the privilege of creating the family of our dreams.

Regardless of how we connected or found each other, we consider each other family because of the roles these people play in our everyday lives.

We are also experts at blending families. When we commit ourselves to relationships the family (biological or otherwise) become our family too, by partner/lover association.

We do what we can; after all, we still can’t get married in Colorado and label these people “in-laws.”

Different non-biological families vary for each individual, but I think there is room for all types, we are part of a rainbow, after all. There are colors enough for everyone.

The people most important in our lives are hand chosen. So, instead of having to deal with a schumucko uncle in-law, you’ll probably just end up having to deal with your partner’s sometimes jealous bestie.

But, both you (the partner) and the bestie have the same person’s interest at heart: your partner’s. That means you both have a plethora of support, and that’s not a bad deal. Already you and the bestie are on the same team.

After I took the journey back to my roots, I was really struck at my self discovery which helped explain some of the reasons I am the way I am.

It was great to be around my biological family, yet still know that my hand-picked family was back in Denver, and sprinkled across the U.S.

At the family reunion, I learned a lot of great lessons – and perhaps ate far too much – but it was worth it.

Family and the introspection that came along with the visit, was wonderful medicine for my soul.

I was reminded of my beautiful biological family, but also gained a new appreciation for that family that took me years to create. And I stayed in contact with those precious people even as I made the journey home.
It’s always a great experience to be reminded of who you are, biologically as well as socially. And I have families for both which have each had their part in molding me and teaching me new experiences. I am truly blessed.

I had the opportunity to have a political, philosophical, metaphysical and spiritual conversation, beginning with my lesbian journey with my biological family, and it was nothing short of wonderful and empowering.

I believe my time as a contributor for Out Front Colorado has given me a great perspective on being who I am and being aware of what and who have and will continue to help shape me into the person I’ve become and will continue to become.

So as you are busy achieving New Year’s Resolutions, remember to take a look at the people around you and remind yourself how they have helped you or inspired you on your journey.