Why our work continues at the Shepard Foundation

By Judy Shepard

When my phone rang in the early morning hours of Oct. 7, 1998, I awoke expecting to hear Matt’s voice on the other end of the line. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that it wasn’t Matt, but rather the hospital in Laramie telling me my eldest son had been brutally attacked and was laying in a hospital bed barely hanging on to life. The next few days were a blur of travel, doctors, nurses and family as Dennis and I rushed halfway around the world to be by Matt’s side. Those terrible, tragedy-filled days changed my life, my family and — during the next 15 years — the world.

In the days and weeks that followed — as we said goodbye to our first-born — Dennis, Logan and I made a promise. We made a commitment in our hearts to Matt, and to his community, that we would do everything we could to make sure no other family had to endure the heartbreak and sorrow that still lives with us today. Fifteen years later, we remain committed to erasing hate and the advocacy work that has become my mission in life.

Just the other week, I visited Henderson College in Arkadelphia, Ark. where the incoming freshman class read The Laramie Project as their “freshman read.”  Ten years ago, this would have been unthinkable — as we discovered at the University of Maryland. But during my visit, the message from students, parents and faculty alike was one of compassion and understanding.

Our country has made incredible progress when it comes to making LGBT equality a reality. The list of victories continues to grow with the recent Supreme Court decisions; the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act; the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell; and marriage equality in 13 states, the District of Columbia and growing. In many ways, Matt wouldn’t recognize this country anymore — we’ve come that far.

But this journey is far from over.

Every day, the Matthew Shepard Foundation receives phone calls and emails pleading for help, for guidance and support from people all over the country. This year alone has seen terrible anti-gay hate crimes in New York City, Cleveland, and Denver to name but a few. We’ve heard from teachers who have been told they can’t put on The Laramie Project as their school play; students who are told they can’t bring their same-sex date to prom; and people — young and old alike — who face discrimination at work and in their communities.

The truth is that the work my family does, and that done by the staff at the Matthew Shepard Foundation, isn’t about Matt anymore, but about what happened to him and what we do in his memory. It’s about the men and women in this country who are still bullied in the halls of their schools, the couples still afraid to hold hands in public for fear of violence, the families still discriminated against by their governments and all those who are the victims of hate and ignorance.

Judy Shepard is the president of the Matthew Shepard Foundation governing board.  For more information about the Foundation visit matthewshepard.org. The Foundation’s 15th annual gala is Oct. 12.