TJ Dezauche: Being LGBTQ & Buddhist

TJ DeZauche of Denver is a college adjunct instructor who specializes and teaches courses in diversity and religion studies. For the past 18-19 years, he has been practicing a religion that more people throughout the United States are being drawn to — Buddhism. In addition, DeZauche is gay.

Religion can be a touchy subject when it comes to the LGBTQ community, but according to DeZauche, Buddhism is one of the most open and accepting religions out there. OUT FRONT had the opportunity to chat with DeZauche about the benefits of Buddhism and why the LGBTQ community should give it a chance.

What is it about Buddhism that you find appealing?

I guess Buddhism is more interested in asking questions about the nature of suffering. I know there could be a better word, but that is usually how they translate it. You know, it’s more interested in what your daily life is like, rather than worrying about blame or guilt when things go wrong. Buddhism wants you to look at why doesn’t something work and how do you address the fact that it’s not working.

It’s geared towards personal responsibility and proactive engagement with your own experience, proactive engagement on how your mind works, and an attempt to take a realistic approach to the way things are. Buddhism really encourages people to let go of how they wish things could be and make peace with how things are. That requires a lot of investigation on your own part.

How has Buddhism been beneficial and rewarding to you?

It has helped me take more responsibility for the things in my life I can control. I have developed a deeper sense of empathy and compassion.

I think people assume Buddhism turns you in mini version of the Dalai Lama, and that’s really not the case. Most people that get drawn into Buddhism in this country, or at least in western culture, gravitate to Buddhism because they are unhappy or grouchy. That’s something that doesn’t necessarily go away, but you learn to understand those parts of yourself and learn how not to buy into them so much. They’re not as unworkable as you might have thought they were. The goal is not to pretend that we don’t have a human spirit, but we don’t have to buy into it as much as we normally do.

I have been able to accept part of myself that I don’t find so positive. I don’t have to work on these problems today, but I can work on it little by little.

Before Buddhism, were you apart of any other religion?

No. I was raised in the deep South, so I tried to avoid it all.

Do you think practicing Buddhism is increasing?

To some extent I think there is a lot of interest, especially around this area because of some of the influences.

What is Buddhism’s stance on homosexuality?

That’s a really hard question to answer because there’s no such thing as universal Buddhism.

Buddhism in Tibet looks very different than Buddhism in Japan. Both look different than Buddhism in Bhutan. Every culture is different than how Buddhism is expressed here in the United States. Different countries in different points in time have had different reactions to the reality of LGBTQ people, but I would say Buddhism in America is largely accepting, and the longer it stays here, the more accepting it seems to become.

The difficulty arises from the fact that Buddhism was originally a very monastic religion. All the practitioners were monks and nuns. That’s no longer the case today. In the modern world, what it means to be a monk varies from culture to culture. For example, Japanese monks were priests but not expected to be celibate, but Tibetan and Sri Lankan Buddhists are.

Today, most Buddhists have day jobs, partners, and what is known as a householder life. At least here in America, many practicing Buddhists have come to terms with the LGBTQ community because lots of LGBTQ people end up feeling drawn to Buddhism. They find it to be more open and accepting than the traditions in which they grew up.

Do you think LGBTQ people might be afraid to try Buddhism because so many religions are anti-LGBTQ?

I don’t know. Maybe. I think, from what I have seen and experienced, people in the LGBTQ community want to avoid religion in general, but I find more than anything that people are hesitant about Buddhism because people don’t know much about it.

What advice do you have for those who are LGBTQ and want to become a Buddhist?

Well, especially in Denver, there’s plenty of Buddhist communities that you can visit. Those communities have open sessions or open sittings at least once or twice a week. No meditation experience necessary.

There’s usually a little bit of Dharma talk connected. Go try it. You won’t know unless you try, and I find that most groups in this area are pretty comfortable with new faces. People who have no previous experience with Buddhism are great because they will have no preconception of what it should be like. Have an open mind.

Do you have a strong support system among family and friends?

Yes, I would say so. My folks don’t really know what to think of the Buddhism thing, but they are learning. My family is not typically religious, so I am far more spiritually oriented than my parents.