The magic of Shadowcliff

By Tom Rockman Jr.

Outside the Rempel Lodge at Shadowcliff, Michael Dorosh rings the bell summoning the attendees of the annual HIV Retreat to the chapel for the opening session. As each person enters the reverent space, he or she assumes the outstretched arms position as Maureen O’Connor waves her sagebrush wand up and down and left to right across each soul, cleansing the body, and ridding the mind of negative energy.

The Shadowcliff is an historic, rustic, and beautiful alpine lodge that is built on a high and large “cliff mound” of granite arising from the North Inlet Stream Valley and bordering Rocky Mountain National Park, Arapahoe Forest, and the Indian Peaks Wilderness Area. The cliff is perched overlooking Grand Lake Village and the Colorado Great Lakes area. It was built during a 45-year period by more than 200 volunteers from 30 different countries, on land that is sacred to the Native American community.

“Even upon arrival at the Retreat Center for the first time, I could feel the blessing and peace of the land,” said O’Connor, a regular at the retreat since 2005. “Upon hearing the story of how it came into being, the love and devotion that went into the conception of Shadowcliff – how could it not be a blessed place? The love that impelled such generosity of spirit could not be simply the love of human beings.”

Pat and Warren Rempel – the founders and previous owners of Shadowcliff – fulfilled a lifetime dream of creating the sacred sanctuary and making it a very special place. During that process, they raised two sons and one daughter. One of their sons, Scott, came out as gay, and they fully embraced that and became involved in PFLAG, retreat Co-Director Michael Dorosh said.

Scott died of AIDS in 1989, and in 1990, the Rempels came up with the idea of having a Shadowcliff Retreat for people with HIV/AIDS. At first it was just to get away to a nice place in the mountains for a weekend, but eventually evolved into an agenda–packed retreat with discussions, workshop, and seminars. The retreat is now a program of Treatment Educat10n Network (online at ontheten.org) organized and run by volunteers.

“I feel that Shadowcliff holds a magical ability to allow people to disconnect from the trouble, pain, stress and fear that we face in our daily lives,” retreat Co-Director Michael Moffett said. “As the weekend progresses you find yourself connecting with people on a spiritual level in a majestic setting. Shadowcliff has an inexplicable way of guiding you to people that are kindred spirits, I feel instant connections are made and that these bonds forged will be lifelong. I came away from that experience with a new outlook on the world, myself and my personal struggles with being HIV-positive, capable of conquering the world. I wanted, more than ever, to return and share that amazing magic with others.”

T.J. Black from Denver – the youngest person to attend the retreat – was diagnosed in March 2013. When Black initially found out, he started to lose sleep and became really depressed. “At the time, I was searching for a new career and fresh out of a relationship,” he said. “With everything turning for the worst, I knew I had to do something. I embraced my new disease and started making healthier and meaningful choices. It gave me a chance to wake up and see life in front of me.”

In the spring, Brown began to do research to find the best HIV retreat in the nation – one that was beneficial to his needs and respected his boundaries by providing a safe environment and one that went beyond inspirational coaching that had a holistic and healing approach. He sought out more interaction with others who are HIV positive and who are walking in the “same shoes.” It was important for him to see multiple perspectives of those from all walks of life and in different degrees of time living with HIV, he said.

By attending the retreat, Brown discovered that he was normal. He learned how to make intelligent medical decisions and heard how others have made theirs. The open discussions have influenced him to re-evaluate and to change some of his previous health decisions and to continue with others already in place. “I got to see how important it is to be honest with myself and my internal dialog and to communicate with others,” he said. “I wasn’t looking for a group therapy ‘meet-and-greet’ that seems to have an AA meeting feel to it.

“I felt very drawn to the retreat and knew it was an opportunity to heal parts of myself that I hadn’t, or was not able to, here at home. It is an amazing experience. I can tell that you get what you put into it. No one is there to make sure you have the healing experience. It all belongs to the individual attending. I went for healing. It met my expectations easily!”

When talking to others about the retreat, Black says that he wasn’t prepared for the spiritual aspect of the place. “I am a very open and thoughtful individual, but I’m also not into any particular religion or spirit. I took it for what it was and embraced the self–reflection and meditation. I loved some of the deep conversations and discussions. I also thought having a mix of both men and women was amazing.”