Stocking Up: The Broke as a Joke Edition

Chris Arneson

You’re feeling like a baller but you’ve only got a dollar. How do you make sure it’s well spent? We’ve got you covered. Here are some dos and don’ts for shopping at the Dollar Tree compared to, let’s just say for evil’s sake, Walmart.

Frozen food

First, please avoid any frozen, raw meats. You cannot and should not trust those things. Check for items like microwavable snacks and popsicles. They’re quality, and you’ve got something that you can hold onto for a while. If you can find frozen berries, grab handfuls and don’t look back. Smoothies for days. (Walmart price: $2 and up. It’s tough to find anything worthwhile for $1 in the frozen food section.)

Glassware

Bottoms up! You can restock your entire kitchen for less than $10 and still feel fancy. I’m constantly surprised at the variety of drinkware available. Live alone? You don’t have to overload your cabinets with an abundance of bulk cups you’ll never use. Buy what you need, and if you break something, it won’t break your bank. Just buy another and your set is still complete. (Walmart price: $1–4, but the options are much more limited.)

Cleaning supplies

You don’t have to feel dirty stocking up on these. With most of the same ingredients, you’ll save several dollars if you ditch the Windex and go for LA’s Totally Awesome. They also offer smaller bottles of dish soap like Dawn and Palmolive for about the same price you’d pay at a regular store. While you’re there, pick up some sponges and towels. You’ll just destroy them anyway, right?

Sunglasses

Go for it. Sure, most of them are hideous, but you’ve got the bone structure to rock ’em ironically. Protect those peepers, boo. (Walmart equivalent: $5–10, but the styles are cooler.)

Flip-flops

Footwear for only a dollar? And they come in a rainbow of colors?! Easy, dude. If you play your game right, you can find cheap flip-flops just about anywhere, and they’re better quality, too. (Walmart price: $.50, and the quality is nearly identical.)

Toiletries

Let’s hope you never have to live a single-ply lifestyle, but if you must, $1 will get you a 4-pack of (hopefully) the roughest thing to ever caress your bottom. Go for this in an emergency situation, or buy nicer stuff in bulk and save the struggle. (Walmart price: You can actually find a 4-pack of toilet paper for $.68 cents … if you dare.)

Shampoo and body wash

There’s a pretty decent variety at Dollar Tree; albeit, they’re brands you’ve never heard of. Willing to risk a dollar? It’s worth a shot. Cheaper brands won’t damage your locks, but they don’t smell quite as nice as the pricier stuff. (Walmart price: $3 and up, mostly. However, if you search enough, Walmart has bottles V05 for only $.75 cents.)

Batteries

These don’t last as long as bigger brands like Duracell or Energizer, but they still work. For $4 for a 4-pack, you can stock up on tons for the price of one 4-pack most anywhere else. (Walmart price: $2.97 for the cheapest 4-pack.)

Electronics

Don’t think twice. That phone charger might seem like a bargain, but it might end up shorting itself out — or worse, damaging your device. If you have to plug it in, it has no business costing you only a dollar. (Walmart price: Comparably priceless.)

Candy

Some of the best candy selections I’ve seen have been in dollar stores. Most offer a lot of discontinued brands or flavors that never made the shelves. You’re not saving much money, however. That bag of Sour Patch Kids may look like an amazing deal for $1, but check the size. Though it might look exactly like 9 oz. at any other store, it’s actually 4 oz. Stick to the sizes that feel worthy of your dollar. (Walmart price: Mostly $1 and up with a better variety of bulk candy that will end up stretching your dollar even farther.)

Books

It’s slightly alarming what treasures you can find. Even paying a dollar for a mediocre read is an awesome deal. It costs less than your late fee at the library, and you get to keep it! This also includes a spectacular collection of coloring books for, you know, “the kids.” (Walmart price: $5 and up for a similar selection.)

Party supplies

Get campy! This is the crown jewel of most dollar stores. Some of the offerings at Dollar Tree are so poignantly amusing you can’t help but deck out your next bash with them. This includes plates, napkins, balloons, party favors, you name it. If you’re getting someone a gift, grab a greeting card and a gift bag for next to nothing. (Walmart price: Comparable, mostly … but they only have one aisle and the prices do vary. Dollar Tree has FOUR aisles, and you know everything is the same price.)