Shane Hodges’ Advice on Priorities and Goal-Setting
Prioritize—THEN Set Your Goals!
As a licensed counselor, I’ve worked with many clients regarding goals and the hurdles they encounter. I’ve also encountered my own challenges with setting and achieving goals. Which led to the question, “What keeps someone from attaining their goals?”
Over the years, I’ve used my personal experiences, as well as feedback from clients, friends, and family in an attempt to answer that question. What I came to realize is that many of us don’t take time to prioritize things, ask ourselves WHY they are a priority, or even consider what certain things mean to us.
So, I created an exercise focused on priorities using the following list of categories:
Happiness Success Money
School Career Future
Retirement Mental Health Physical Health
Family Marriage Sex
Friends Authenticity Independence
Being Accepted Having Control Having Purpose
* PLEASE NOTE: This list may not cover all areas of your life, and some categories may not be a fit at all.
Step 1: Write each category on a small piece of paper.
Step 2: Place them on a flat surface in front of you.
Step 3: Choose any two and ask yourself, “Which one is more of a priority?”
a. Place the higher priority at the top and the other one below it.
Step 4: Continue doing so with each piece of paper. If any two are of equal priority, place them next to each other.
Step 5: Once you have placed them in order of priority, write the list on a full sheet of paper and/or take a photo of the list.
What surprised you about your list? Was it hard to prioritize certain things over others? That is not uncommon, as our priorities can shift and change, often very quickly and frequently.
I use this exercise to get people thinking about how/why they prioritize things. To better understand how/why we do so, it’s important to dig deeper. When working with clients, I ask additional questions about happiness and success such as:
What does happiness LOOK like to you?
How do you DEFINE happiness?
What does happiness or success FEEL like?
How will you KNOW when you have attained success?
In what ways, if any, have you already BEEN successful?
These are a great start. But don’t stop there. There’s another question I often ask people.
WHY is that important to you?
I urge you to ask yourself, “Why?” on a regular basis. And be brutally honest with yourself. Even when you don’t like the answer. It is only by acknowledging our real reasons, genuine motivation, and honest “WHY” that we are allowed to attain the greatest understanding of self and the highest level of authenticity!
NOW that you have a clearer understanding of your priorities, you can proceed in setting some goals for yourself!
The following guide was created from client feedback, as a well as my own struggles with goals. Utilizing this guide will significantly increase your chances of achieving your goals.
Goals Guideline
• Write them down.
Get them out of your head. Up there, they get lost or forgotten. Seeing them in front of you allows you to organize them, create plans, process why they are important, and revisit them at any time.
• Make them specific and measurable.
Specific – You want a clear understanding of what you are working toward. Don’t be so specific that you are left with an unattainable goal. Alternatively, if you are not specific enough, it’s difficult to determine progress.
Measurable – Consider how to monitor progress toward your goals. Being able to confirm progress helps maintain motivation.
• Determine what steps to take.
For each goal, write down the steps required to achieve it. This acts as a checklist to monitor progress. Organize the list in order of which tasks need to be completed first to minimize frustrations and avoid wasted time.
• Consider roadblocks.
Ask yourself, “What might get in my way?” Be honest regarding your strengths and areas of improvement. For example:
Do you struggle with asking for help? Why?
Do you procrastinate? Why do you put things off?
Do you already have too much on your plate?
Only after considering these things can you determine roadblocks and what actions can get you past them.
• Create a list of supports
Many of us won’t even consider asking for support. We have the mindset of … “These are my goals; I should do it on my own” or “I don’t want to be a burden.”
But the fact is, none of us can do it all. And most of us know others who would love to see us succeed and help us do so. Furthermore, allowing them to help can make things MUCH easier.
Consider the people you trust most; all are potential supports. They may be able to offer time, money, knowledge, experience, and/or be a sounding board to bounce ideas off.
• Ask yourself, “What is my motivation?”
Again, be honest, even if your answer seems inappropriate. If we are dishonest about it, the motivation is misaligned. This can be a precursor to failure. So, regardless of the reason, be honest with yourself!
• Be flexible
Many of us have abandoned goals when progress is derailed. But sometimes SHIT HAPPENS! And when it does, we often have no control over it. So, when it does, we may need to adjust our goals. It’s important to remind yourself that this is ok!
Also, our goals may shift. Humans often change their minds! That is OK, too.
If you are working toward a goal, and things don’t go as planned, don’t be too hard on yourself. You may just need to adjust your timeline. In my humble opinion, giving up is the only way we can truly fail. If something doesn’t work out, instead of giving up, we evaluate, adjust, and keep going. It is called a learning experience!
• Revisit them regularly
Things change, and progress occurs. So, it’s important to revisit your goals regularly. This shows you which goals have been achieved, which ones need attention, or which ones you no longer care to achieve. Furthermore, revisiting your goals helps hold you accountable in achieving them.
Hopefully, these exercises will help you set clear goals, monitor your progress, and achieve your desired outcomes. Ask yourself what next steps you are going to take to bring your goals to fruition. Challenge yourself to be accountable. Allow yourself to ask for support. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. And give yourself permission to go after what YOU want!
Photo courtesy of Shane Hodges
