Anti-bullying goes hand-in-hand with LGBT rights

For most of us, memories from youth include insecurities, struggle, pain and ridicule. One of the hardest parts of being a young person is that not only do we struggle to come to grips with responsibility, adults’ expectations, sexuality and the fact that the real world is not consistent, predictable and fair – but we’re very hard on each other in the mean time.

There’s an ever-present struggle to fit in – to be “normal,” sometimes to be better than normal, and to gain acceptance from our peers. And as much as we all wanted respect and acceptance and wished that those things came easy, we made our peers work hard to earn our courtesy. We judged each other for things that seem trivial through the eyes of adulthood. And then there are some kids, who, for some reason, decide to not only be stingy with their respect, but actively use the confidence, popularity and influence they have to humiliate and isolate others. That’s bullying.

I didn’t face the same struggle that many youths experience. I had normal insecurities that adolescents share, but it was comparatively good. I didn’t have to worry that my sexual orientation might make me different; I didn’t even come out until well after high school.

It was my curly hair and overbite that most made me feel different. But in today’s day and age, youth are being bullied for their socializing styles, the way they dress, their sexual preference or identities, their abilities, their bodies, their backgrounds, their religious beliefs and other intrinsic human individualities that they are brave enough to come out and face.

The stereotypical portrayal of bullies in movies and television is kids who are just as insecure as their victims. In those depictions, the bully is a misfit, unlikeable, aggressive, perhaps abused at home, and venting her or his frustrations on others. The bully is to be hated, or pitied, as an underdeveloped young person who lacks common courtesy, or else as someone we get a rare look into and realize they’re victims in their own right.

But research on bullying has shown that youths who engage in bullying are confident, often popular and admired, and exhibit a social savvy that allows the bully to humiliate their victims and make others afraid to defend them. Bullying is what many of us intuitively perceive it as when we’re young: Reinforcement of a social hierarchy.

Our cover story interviews Beverly Title, a longtime educator who has long worked with bulling and says bullies often feel entitled to their powerful status and in group situations are leaders of the pack.

Oftentimes, bullies feel justified: Not lashing out in self-destructive aggression but doing what they think is righteous policing of their peers’ behavior, perpetuating the social constructs of the wider society against those seen as deviant or weird.

Kids who engage in bullying, or support the bullies, can be establishing that this kind of person is better than this other kind of person, and those on the bottom ought to know their place. We’ve seen it happen in the adult world, through what we know as things like homophobia, classism, sexism and racism – society’s misguided view that one group is better than the others and entitled to an easier life and much better things.

For the first time, society has recognized the taunts, harassment and threats of violence that LGBT kids face in schools as bullying: there’s a link between teenage bullying and adult prejudice. Kids pick up on wider social issues and mimic what they see in the world. Our society and culture has given the bully an instruction book on the justifications for picking on an underprivileged group.

LGBT youth who are brave enough to come out in middle school and high school are caught in the midst of a broader “Culture War.” When Lawrence King, a gay teen boy in California who was shot and killed by a classmate, the shooter’s attorneys defended him at trial by indirectly suggesting that King brought it on himself by flirting with the boy who eventually shot him – and that King had brought bullying from other students on himself by being flamboyant and effeminate. In actuality, the defendant’s attorneys implied, King had bullied them for being so different. When right-wing leaders like Rush Limbaugh use prejudice and homophobia to propel their careers, youth get the idea that victimizing those who are “different” is simply normal, healthy adolescent behavior.

Bullies might be young, but the bully is looking for the status and power that our society deems as success.

But there’s something more powerful than bullying – the youth of this generation that are standing up against it and creating a resistance of peace. Like our cover story sources, Mimi Madrid, Diane Amaya and Michelle Anderson, who are all organizers with the youth activist group Branching Seeds of Resistance, the bullied youth, and bullied LGBT youth in particular, are banding together to re-create their identities after childhoods of waging through waters of unacceptance, ridicule, threats of violence and endless teasing.

These youth have begun an uprising against the status quo allowing victims of bullying to feel empowered, confident and whole – redefining “normal.”

Through our cover story we see how it is possible to take a rocky upbringing and turn it into a badge of honor as organizations like BSEEDZ are turning victims into survivors, shared pain into camaraderie and strength. Instead of taking their cues from purveyors of prejudice, they take cues from historical giants like Martin Luther King, Jr. and Harvey Milk. Madrid, Amaya and Anderson aren’t letting their pasts define their possibilities. They are creating change for the future.

Fighting for LGBT rights in our society at-large goes hand-in-hand with empowering the youth who have been ostracized during the most difficult parts of developing their individualities.

And the former bullied victim is now becoming the future leader.

We lead by example. We lead with integrity and challenge the norms of society and culture. But the bully will always be there, and more importantly, like the sources of our cover story revealed, we lead with transformation.

Transforming notions, actions, and our past, is what gives us the strength to stand up for what’s right. Whether civil unions, gay marriage, equal protections for trans folks or stopping the bully in high school from feeling empowered, we are on a journey of transforming perceptions and others actions. And we do it everyday with awareness, compassion, and standing up in the fight against inequality. ]