OPINION: Quit praising straight men’s mediocrity
Last week, a screenshot floated around the internet, and gay media outlets, that showed a straight man respectfully replying to someone who slipped him a phone number at a wedding. The gay man approached the straight man and said, “I just wanted to let you know that I have noticed you all night. I wanted to leave this with you before I left.” He then handed the man a piece of paper with his number on it.
So, like a gentleman, the straight man responded with a text explaining that while he is flattered, he is straight and has a girlfriend. He also gave kudos to the amount of bravery it took to approach him.
On the surface, it’s cute to me. A man taking the time to respond to someone who was obviously interested, and doing it in a polite way. But the more I looked at it, and the more I thought about the reaction from the gays on my Facebook, the more annoyed it became.
Yes, it is sweet. But it’s also mediocre. This straight man thought that what he did was soooooo progressive that he had to share it with the world. His caption on the photo praises the man who saw what he wanted and did something about it. “Without knowing if I was straight or not he had built up the guts to put himself out there. I thought it was extremely brave and I know it’s something I wouldn’t be able to do. I’m sharing this to remind everyone to live their lives without regrets.”
Honestly, this is trivial. As a community, we can’t be admiring people for being a decent human being. If I posted screenshots of every woman I ever had to respectfully turn down … I might have 5. Regardless of how many women hit on me, when they do I don’t applaud their bravery, because it’s not a scary thing to do. And I sure as hell don’t share the interaction with the world.
It also speaks to the insecurity we face as gay people. Just because one man shows decency to the gay community, then shares how well he handled a potentially awkward situation with his Facebook friends, who then can praise him on how sweet he handled the situation, does not mean that we have to praise him too.
This man is not a saint. He’s a normal person, doing something decent.
