[Opinion] Where Catcalling Really Comes From

Pieter Tolsma

In case you haven’t seen it, a woman in New York posted a viral video about her experiences being catcalled as she walked about the city. The results involved a hundred or so men whistling, commenting, and occasionally following her. I’m saddened by this behavior but at the same time, I’ve never been catcalled on the street, much less bought a drink in a bar by a stranger. Why is she fighting off unwanted attention while I am chilling with a Diet Coke waiting for a smile?

In addition to my issue with some oppressive RBF — resting bitch face, for those over 30 — the important difference comes down to masculinity and femininity and the issue of class. While we’d like to think we as society have moved past the idea of normed gender behavior, the truth is we haven’t. Heterosexual men are still expected to be the instigators when it comes to personal relationships and in their own damaged and frustrating ways, those guys on the street were doing exactly that. We’re also talking street culture, where these guys create and operate their identity. A woman, viewed as prey, walks through their area and they make a move in the way they’ve been acculturated as men. Until “what it means to be man” changes, they won’t behave any differently. In fact, as women respond by pulling further away, they’re only going to be more overt — the guys’ reputation depends on it.

At first glance, you might think all the rules go out the window when it comes to the LGBT community. Think again. You may not see lesbians on the corner hollering at the ladies as they pass like it’s some sort of queer “West Side Story,” but we play by the same rules. Consider our bar scene for a moment. Who is dominant and makes the moves and who is receiving that attention? Being the butch one usually comes with the expectation of assertiveness and embracing power and agency. Straight culture splits power along gender lines and hands all the power associated with butch culture to men and expects them to perform masculinity … and therein are the seeds of catcalling, harassment, and rape.

How does our LGBT population roll with all this? We’re figuring out how to perform in public now that we have a degree of acceptance. The struggle is real. The ideas of butch and femme are just as potent for us as it is in straight culture. Who “dominates” who sexually is a common byline in our conversations and we often demean each other based on those associations. This is not as public and degrading as catcalling, but it’s on the same path.

If the LGBT audience could live their identity as openly as our straight counterparts, it won’t be too long before someone makes a video about their walk through Boystown or Chelsea. LGBT folks often forget that we live in a world that’s dominated by heterosexual imagery. We’re bombarded by images and stories that teach us what it means to be a man or a woman. We might think these messages don’t apply to us, but we’re still being conditioned by their rules and norms. If we’re not aware of what we’re doing, we’ll continue to play out our own version of the masculine/feminine power exchange and fall into a similar rut as the heterosexuals.