Metal Meltdown: Sex, Drugs, and Rock ‘n’ Roll

I was raised by a father who loves old-school punk and rock, as well as music criticism from the likes of Lester Bangs, Hunter S. Thompson, and all the other old greats. Once he realized I wasn’t to be a “typical daughter,” that I would prefer to stay up with him listening to CDs and reading music commentary to going to a football game, he started to pass on the musical and critical greats to me.

And I devoured all of it: old, reprinted issues of the punk zine Sniffin’ Glue, old copies of Rolling Stone, Black Sabbath records, rock star biographies. As I got older and developed my own taste, I discovered heroes like the late, great, Mick Faren, whom I related to because he wrote about activism and rock, but also wrote sci-fi on the side.
So, while other tweens and teens grew up with girl and boy bands, the Disney Channel, and coming-of-age romance novels, I grew up with the Sex Pistols, the Ramones, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, and a bunch of music critics.

While a lot of this clearly had a very positive impact on who I am today, there was one clear narrative I was receiving from all of it: Rock stars were men, often unattractive men, who sought out women, often using them as sexual objects or blurring consent lines. While they did that, they were over-consuming substances; trashing hotel rooms; and centering their cis, straight voices.

As I’ve grown to embrace the metal community and my real-life career as a music writer and bassist, and even as I unlearned behaviors to become a functioning and responsible human, I rewrote the rock star narrative in my mind. I’m on stage looking out at the crowd. Afterwards, I’m going to smoke a bowl with my band and my friends, have a beer, singular, because work tomorrow, and then go home with my loving partners. I won’t be smashing anything, human or equipment, or doing hard drugs, but I will be reveling in the adrenaline rush that comes from playing a show.

So, if you’re like me, and you grew up with a rock star narrative around any of the things you love, let’s rewrite our experience together. You can still live that fantasy in the spotlight, but you don’t have to center yourself or hurt anyone else to do it