It’s Time to Get Gay Married Now More Than Ever

The moment the news broke of Donald Trump’s reelection, my mind went straight to our wedding. Just a few months ago, my fiancé AJ and I sent out the save-the-dates for our May 2025 wedding, knowing full well that this country could be on fire come January. And here we are now, facing the crushing reality of getting married under a president who stands against everything we believe in. Should we still go forward with everything?

When AJ and I started planning our wedding shortly after we met, we knew we wanted something different. As a queer and trans couple, we wanted to make our wedding day as unique and gay as possible—think vintage prom meets a low-budget indie rom-com on Valentine’s Day in Las Vegas (by Vegas, we mean thematically speaking because we are getting married at the Mercury Café here in Denver, the same place I used to read poetry as a teenager). 

As we approach the 10-year anniversary of marriage equality, it’s become clear that the wedding industry at large has yet to catch up. It’s been refreshing to move back to Denver, a city that has transformed over the past 15 years, and see just how many LGBTQ+ wedding vendors there are here. However, as we began to plan our wedding out in more detail, I realized that I had no idea what I was going to wear.

As a stocky trans guy under 5’5″, finding men’s clothes that fit me has always been challenging. And, as someone with a strong sense of personal style, it only took a couple of hours shopping for suits to realize just how binary (and boring) most masculine formalwear options are. I didn’t want to spend hours of my life obsessively shopping online, scouring through pages and pages of photos, triple-checking return policies, just to have nothing even fit when I tried it on. That’s when I discovered Sharpe Suiting. 

Over 10 years ago, Leon Wu came to the realization that the suiting industry wasn’t built for LGBTQ+ people. That is when he decided to start Sharpe Suiting—a custom-made, gender-inclusive suiting company—from his living room in Silverlake, Los Angeles. Over the last decade, Sharpe has made over 1,500 suits for weddings, red carpet events, and every other special occasion under the sun. But back in 2013, the concept of gender-neutral formalwear didn’t exist.

“Ever since I was seen as a little girl, I dressed in my fatherʼs suits and dreamed of a more inclusive fashion world, one without gender binaries,” Wu says. “As I grew older and entered the business world, I found it impossible to find suits that fit or that I could purchase without demeaning remarks. I came to the realization that the only way to find a space that was safe and inclusive for all identities was to create one.”

I met with the head designer at Sharpe to talk about my exact vision for my tuxedo. She took all of my measurements, and we talked about exactly how I wanted the blazer and trousers to fit on my body. I was able to pick out the fabric, buttons, satin trim, and even get my initial monogrammed on the powder-blue jacket lining. When AJ and I moved back to Denver last year, Leon suggested that we launch Sharpe Suiting services here in the Mile High City. We are beyond happy to join the other amazing queer wedding vendors in Denver to fill the gender-inclusive formalwear gap. We are now accepting clients for design sessions out of Above Ground Lodo.

We met up for coffee with Tamara Moore and Shelby Moores of Dancing Queens, a queer and Black-owned wedding and event planning company in Denver, to chat about queer weddings and what Sharpe can bring to this city. 

“We always hear about the wedding dress experience, but people who wear suits do not receive that same excitement around what they’re wearing on their special day,” Moore says. “Sharpe Suiting brings an opportunity for Denver suit-wearers to find gender-affirming fashion in a queer space where your identity won’t get in the way of finding your dream wedding fit.”

Even though the election didn’t pan out how we wanted it to, it feels more important now than ever to celebrate trans joy and queer love, especially in places where it’s safe to do so. We are grateful that Colorado voted yes on Amendment J, removing the same-gender marriage ban from our constitution so that we can be protected in this state moving forward. Not only do AJ and I still plan on having our wedding, but we are committed to making it the gayest, loudest, most joyous, and biggest political declaration of queer love you’ve ever seen.

So if you are still planning on having a big, gay wedding like we are, here are some LGBTQ+ wedding vendors in Denver who can help you celebrate your queer love in all its glory. 

Photo by Noah Pasley