The Insanity Cycle

Hey, Brent. My life has never really been easy (or happy) but in the past few years, I’ve been even more aware that I don’t like what’s going on with me in my life as an adult. I know I should probably to try something else to improve my happiness, but I don’t even know why it’s so hard to get out of my mindset and do different things. It seems like an easy decision to make, but really hard to start. Do you have any suggestions?

There are many of us who’ve heard the definition of insanity described as our decision to continue doing the same crap 4,612 times and praying for a different result. It truly doesn’t matter what the situation, whether it’s trying to make a Shakespearian tragedy of a relationship work, or trying to solve our own diminished self-esteem issues by getting chemically smashed or overcompensating in a variety of ways.

For example, most of us probably wouldn’t revisit a restaurant that gave us food poisoning, awful service, or disgusting food over and over. Unfortunately, there are situations (and people) that somehow motivate us to keep going back for more discomfort, abuse, or frustration — we pray it won’t happen again despite the logic that the same repercussions are to be expected.

This could happen because anything we do over and over becomes a pattern for us. We create habits that benefit and drive us towards achieving goals. Unfortunately, some of our other habits serve to impact our lives in negative ways. They can reinforce such ideas of helplessness, isolation, and feeling like change isn’t likely to occur. The longer we experience the same things, the less likely are to try and change them.

To get this ball of change rolling, take some time to figure out the aspects of your life you want to change. These may be the ones causing you distress, but you may want to consider those that could improve your overall quality of life. Be careful about glamorizing certain changes by thinking that if you achieve something, your life will be so amazing. Attaining something does not necessarily mean your life will be full of glitter-covered unicorns. Very rarely does outside change cause amazing internal improvements

Also, be careful about waiting for the “perfect time” to start working on something. There will never be that single wonderful moment where the planets will align to quit smoking, start eating better, begin going to the gym, or start trying to be more socially outgoing.

You would think that getting repeatedly bitch-slapped would teach us that what we’re doing may not be the best course of action, but there are times when it takes a longer amount of time to learn these lessons. It is important to remember that we all have the potential to change almost anything in our lives. Changing long-established patterns can be challenging and uncomfortable, but will hopefully lead into better outcomes and aid in giving us the confidence that we can tackle difficult situations and gain control over our choices.