Helping churches come out

Last week at Charlie’s, a new friend dropped a Contemporary Christian Music quote in the middle of a conversation. Catching a whiff of my 90s childhood, I shared my idea for a CCM drag show, but it didn’t inspire the glee I’d hoped.

“I’d be curious enough to show up,” he joked, “but I can’t promise I’d last through the first song.”

My friend’s uneasiness is not unwarranted. It’s no secret that the rift between the evangelical and LGBT communities runs deep. Some of us were raised in religious homes only to be burned by both church and family after coming out. Others with a different (or absent) religious background scoff at a religious tradition premised on exclusion and literal Bible-readings — especially at seeing people like Kim Davis and members of the Religious Right work against marriage equality.

Within this conflict, it might be easy to miss something new: an increasing number of evangelical churches are seeking to “come out.”
Isaac Archuleta, a 32-year old bi-psychotherapist, is radiant as he describes the work of his Denver-based nonprofit iAm Institute. “We currently have two churches in Denver that are on the verge of coming out as gay-affirming — one with 3000 members and another with 150. We also are working with a large congregation in New York.”

This opportunity emerged when Archuleta teamed up with theologian and straight-ally Michael Stark, 29, to address a problem from Archuleta’s psychotherapy practice: The shame that many LGBT people experience from homophobia leads to unhealthy patterns and relationships.
Evangelical churches “come out” when they become places where all people can worship without shame. “First,” Archuleta explains, “the church becomes a safe place of worship for a queer person. Second, they affirm the gifts of queer people as staff and volunteers. And finally, they provide equal access to sacraments like communion and marriage.”

iAm Institute shows churches how to transition their congregations and help families and individuals expand their emotional and relational capacities. When it kicks off in February, it will be a resource center for the LGBT community and evangelicals, offering psychotherapy scholarships, discussion boards, and practical tools for families, individuals, and churches.

Archuleta and Stark work with church boards to deconstruct dualistic thinking that leads to LGBT exclusion: gay-straight, good behavior-bad behavior, orthodox-heretical — the stuff of queer theory. “Many church leaders have the emotional inclination for LGBT inclusion. Michael provides the philosophical and theological grounding that legitimizes their inclinations, and I bring a therapy background that gives them a framework for healthy relationships.”

At the same time, Archuleta is quick to note that finding a gay-affirming church may not be for every queer person, particularly those who have experienced emotional and verbal abuse. “When we begin to claim that one thing is best for everyone, we begin instantly marginalizing others. But by making space for each other, I believe we can find a greater social and psychological integration.”