Hannah Rad’s Journey to Positive Mental Health

As a member of the LGBTQ community, DJ and TV personality Hannah Rad has devoted her time and energy to supporting positive health for those who may be struggling. Now, she is inviting audiences along on her own personal mental health journey.

In her recently launched YouTube series Sorry to Keep You Waiting, which premiered August 25 and wrapped up last month, Rad embarks on a solo exploration throughout California. At each of the seven spots on her trip, she documents and shares a personal experience that has greatly impacted her life and has brought her to her current state of mental being. With the help of a virtual therapist, Rad aims to let go and leave behind the pain.

“Sorry to Keep You Waiting is a self-love letter; a short series that helps me demolish the brick walls in my path,” Rad said.

Rad has been the music and lifestyle host for several major events, including the ESPN X Games, E!’ Daily Pop, and REVOLT. As a DJ, she has been heard on Total Radness at Red Bull Studios NY and has made appearances on SiriusXM’s HipHopNation.

OUT FRONT had the opportunity to chat more with Rad about her new YouTube series, why mental health is important, and why she is allowing viewers to see this side of herself.    Hi, Hannah! Thank you for taking some time to chat with me. How are you doing during these unprecedented times?
I think I am doing unprecedently well given all the situations that are in front of us right now. Not to make light of anything that is happening in the world, in our house, in our economy, in our systematic racism and social justice issues that are constantly pervading the news cycle, but I feel like it has given me an opportunity to look at things in a different light. Also, with the state of changes in our respective industries, obviously media and television, that has suffered pretty greatly in terms of the work being put out there, but it has given me an opportunity to focus on things that I am more passionate about, and to focus on projects that I probably would not have had time to do given a precedented circumstance.

Can you tell us more about your YouTube series, Sorry to Keep You Waiting?
Yes, for sure. This is something that didn’t necessarily come about just because of everything happening in the world right now, but I had more time to focus on something like this. I was having a lot of uneasy and uncertain feelings about myself for the better part of the past two years, and I did not know how to process it. It was invading my professional career and workspace, and I had this mental block I could not eclipse. I had a crummy day and woke up the next day not wanting to feel like that anymore. I jumped in the car and started talking to myself, crying, and singing terribly to the radio. I had no destination in sight that day, but I was like, what if I just did this? Do what I am doing right now and just put it out in the world as if the world was my therapist. I needed to get it out of my head so I can continue going about my business. I ran back home, wrote up the project, edited the trailer, launched the crowdfunding the next day, and was out on the road filming within a month’s time. The last episode came out last month.

Why did you decide to create this series and open up about your personal mental health journey?
This time is unprecedented, but I approached it with a lot of optimism and positivity in the best way that I know how, and I think being able to shine a light on mental health awareness was something that I have been wanting to do and speak more candidly about for years. A lot of people were easy to see me as the girl who always DJs or the girl always hosting the music festivals. I was very much in the box. Like, I have layers. I am so much deeper than that.

I often get feedback from people saying I have the best job in the world. Yeah, because you see 30 seconds out of my day when I am on camera interviewing, let’s say Charli XCX. You don’t see the other 23 hours and 30 seconds of the day where I am struggling, having anxiety, or going through the things that get me to the point and allow me the space to be able to put myself out there in that professional capacity. I reached this point where I was not connecting with my interview subjects as much, or my audience, because I am not getting deep enough on myself. I need to be more vulnerable, authentic, and kind of reveal a little but of myself so that people know a bit more about me.

What do you hope audiences take away from Sorry to Keep You Waiting?
I think the biggest impact for me, and the want was that I do get that positive response. I get people saying yo, I’m not that dissimilar from you. I went through something very much like what you did. Just finding the connection, and I have found that a million times over. From the first trailer to the first episode, the response has been remarkably overwhelming. If I impact one person, help one individual call a helpline, reach out, or help a friend, then my job is done.

I think part of the series for me was very cathartic and therapeutic because, in a selfish way, I helped myself through the course of this. The responses that I got from so many people and from so many walks of life has just been incredible. One of the first people that messaged me or left a comment on the first episode was this young kid in Dubai. First off, how are you finding me? I don’t have a massive presence on YouTube, but he sent me this beautiful long message. That is the kind of connectivity where you can just have that energy and synchronicity with someone that you do not know because of a shared human experience.What have been some key takeaways for you?
For me, it signified, especially in episode one which is “Sorry to Keep You Waiting, but I’m Lost,” I am still lost, but I can vocally put that out there and feel great about that because I don’t know everything, and I am still finding my way. I think the reverberating tones throughout the entirety of the series is that I have to lose myself in order to find myself. There is that parallel between getting lost in a cycle of yoga, meditation, fitness, and therapy, and how to help myself. Getting lost and surrendering to that, but then also getting lost on the road. I went to places in California that I have never been to before and just gave myself over to the process. I have never been to Death Valley, but I heard it’s one of the hottest places in the middle of August. Like, you probably should not be hiking there, but I was like, sign me up! I definitely got lost along the way in that sense, but in a very beautiful and positive way that gives me a great outlook for what’s to come.

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What kept you motivated to continue this journey and not turn back?
I think it was a responsibility for myself. I am someone who admittedly has a bit of self-control issues, and I like to have full hands on, especially when I am working on any kind of production or project. With this one, as much as it was going on this road trip solo, it was a one woman show from start to finish. You don’t really see anybody else in this series at all, and that is because not only did I go out on this road trip alone, but I filmed it, edited it, scouted it, set up the crowdfunding. Not one other person was involved other than the generous support, love, and resources from individuals who donated to the crowdfunding campaign. Other than that, it is very much me who put it together. I wanted to make sure that was known, and that is a big takeaway for me. It kept me on track and on deadline because I had that responsibility to nobody else but myself. It was something I felt like I needed to do, and once I put it out there into the world that I was going to shoot on this day and this is when the episode comes out, my mind was laser focused. I cannot let myself down now, and I cannot let anybody else down now that I have put that out there.

Will there be a season two?
There is! I am happy to share that news, and it is going to take a very different tone. It is still very much focusing on how we get right, what makes us feel good, what scares us, but I am going to bring along some friends. Friends from some very notable places across the worlds of music, celebrity, and sport. I am going to go on some incredible excursions with some well-known people. The last episode of season one bridges us over into season two. The first episode will tackle very tangible fears, as opposed to just my emotional vulnerabilities. Another individual and I are going to go for a crazy ride. That’s as much as I will say about it, but season two is coming.

Why should mental health be important to people?
I think it is paramount. For so long, mental health and therapy was kind of looked at as like a luxury item because it costs so much, and it is hard to obtain. Again, we are in unprecedented times where it is not so difficult to jump on a phone call much like you and I are, and my therapist now, we can FaceTime. It makes it feel so much easier, almost conversational in a sense. Years ago, you had to take time out of your day, go to an office in front of someone, and then you are already like, I don’t want to talk about my deepest darkest fears and insecurities. I am already wasting time by just getting here. So, I think it is important to know that there are resources available in this series as well. You are not alone. You are not all that different. I’m not special, you’re not special, but we are all in this together. We do have that shared human experience and connection, and I feel that it is important that we shine a spotlight on it because your mental health is just as important as your physical.Why do you think mental health is such a hot topic for the LGBTQ community?
We question a lot of things, so we are in our heads a lot. Sometimes, we are not in a space where we have the capacity to have open dialogues with individuals. I come from a very Catholic, conservative, strict family, and it took me the better part of 20 years before I officially came out to them because it’s not what you are taught growing up. As much as you are not taught about being queer, you are not taught that mental health is important as well. No disrespect to the generation before us, but those were not the things that were passed down. I think we are in a great space and time right now where we are able to have those open dialogues and conversations. Even though it might be uncomfortable at times, that is the best way to start having these conversations. Day by day, the more that we have these conversations, they become slightly less uncomfortable with every step forward.

What is the best advice you can offer to someone who never takes a breather or time for themselves?
I don’t know. I am still looking for that because I need to be told to take breaks [laughs]. It is very important to take breaks. A very dear friend of mine back in New York, he is always telling me that the most successful people do make time for themselves and take a step back. For me, it is not to get too swept up in things that I cannot control, and that can be a blessing and a curse. Especially during the quarantine and lockdowns, it does connect us, but you can also get trapped into this echo chamber you built for yourself. You can see what you want to see, post what you want to post. For me, taking breaks from that is even better than taking a full vacation. I can take Instagram off my phone for a week and go back feeling refreshed. That kind of mental vacation for me is absolutely important, and I think it is very important when people are tied to their technology.

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Millions of people know you as a DJ and TV host. How did you fall into this crazy business?
I have always had a love for music, and I valiantly tried to play every instrument possible, and failed just as beautifully as I tried [laughs]. I did not like practicing, but I knew I loved music and the radio. So, my dream was to be on the radio. When I was still living in New York, I attained that within just a few short years of moving there. During that time, I taught myself how to DJ as well. I was like, I am not just going to be on the radio. I am also going to mix live and have guests come and do that. That transitioned me into playing clubs in New York, L.A., Miami, all over the world.

The radio gig also moved me into TV because I had a few people that I was working with say, ‘we like what you say on the radio, would you want to do that in front of the cameras?’ I was like, sure! And I’ll tell you what, the first time I was in front of the camera, the producer was like, everything you are saying is great, but you look really strange. I was so used to being on radio and not being seen, this was like pre- Breakfast Club, Howard Stern, nobody was putting cameras in radio studios yet. The producer was like, what are you doing with your hands? Like, I don’t know! I don’t know what to do with my presence because I was so used to not being seen. It was a brutal transition, but it turned into a beautiful career in TV. I am very happy about it.

What do you enjoy the most about hosting grand events like the ESPN X Games, E!’s Daily Pop, and REVOLT?
Connecting with my interview subjects. It is all about finding that connection. What is the passion, what’s the fire, the fuel that drives you? You can put me in a room with an athlete, an artist, someone who does music in a way that I don’t know how to, and I am able to find that connection. It is just a matter of going deeper and not asking the same questions that people would typically ask. I crave something deeper than I had ever gone before. After we make that connection, we are creating a space that allows audiences to feel like they are in the room with us.As a DJ, what events would you like to play?
I played the Silent Disco in Switzerland about four summers ago, and I am still trying to chase that high. We were in the shores of Lake Geneva and looking out. A silent disco, you don’t hear anything, so there would be times where I would take the headphone off and just watch people dancing. You can change the channel because there are three different DJs, and to see everybody just vibing and finding that energy in their own pace was one of the most beautiful things that I have seen when it comes to DJing. I am still trying to run after that dragon and try to catch it again.

Before we wrap up, are there any other upcoming projects we should be on the lookout for?
I am getting right into season two of Sorry to Keep You Waiting. I have a few other things I cannot speak on yet, but I do not believe you have seen the last of season one yet. It is going to come back in a different capacity, but season two is coming, and it will be a bit more extreme.

To stay up-to-date with Rad, follow her on Instagram and Twitter, or visit her official website. Sorry to Keep You Waiting is available on YouTube.

Photos Courtesy of Hannah Rad