Dealing with the dealers

As I waited for the salesman to return, I felt more confused than ever. On the offer laid on the table he’d written dumb things on it like “Special deal just for you” and “Let’s make this happen tonight.” The bright fluorescent lights and nerve-racking pressure made me feel like I was in an interrogation room. My partner Luke asked what my gut said.

I’d never purchased a car before — your classic suburban kid, my parents did all that dirty work for me. Since I knew nothing about cars, Luke helped me narrow down some options. He knew I didn’t need anything fancy but needed good fuel economy because I drove a lot for work. We narrowed it down to a Nissan Versa or a Toyota Prius.

It turned out the Versa I liked would be the 2014 model — buying it used wasn’t an option. I already had experience driving a Prius and it only made sense to head over to a Nissan dealer to learn more about their car.

We had arrived there thinking we could be slick and avoid salesmen by darting through the lot, but the freezing cold air quickly drove us inside and right into the dealer’s arms.

At first the salesman didn’t seem that interested. Like most eager gay men, I became more interested in him because of it. I practically started begging him to convince me on the car.

When we got in for a test drive, his persona changed — he came off friendlier, telling us about his life, asking us about ours. During the drive, everyone kept checking in with me on how I liked it. I thought I liked it. I couldn’t tell. By the time we got back to the dealership, the salesman now seemed like our brand new best buddy. He asked if I would like to see some numbers and I figured it couldn’t hurt.

He returned with some financial info and I asked him if they were running any end-of-year deals right now. The salesman informed me that they were a family-owned dealership and therefore didn’t have deals like that. His description comforted me, as if I’d be buying from a mom-and-pop shop rather than a large corporation.

I told him I would need to think about it for a couple of days. The salesman proceeded to introduce us to his supervisor; also a young, handsome-ish go-getter kind of guy. The supervisor then said he really needed to be honest with me — apparently they had too much inventory and needed to sell some of these exact models that very night. Why hadn’t the salesman mentioned this before?

The two of them began reworking numbers, creating monthly payments that should make me wet my pants. As they scribbled all over the offer I felt completely trapped. They made it clear that the offer would only be good that night. The more I resisted, the more the numbers got crunched. A part of me fantasized about telling them I would buy the car if we could watch them make out for thirty seconds. Alas, I would never have the guts.

When they finally realized I wasn’t going to budge, their demeanor shifted once again. We were no longer good friends — I became the new pain in their asses. The two men stepped away to get us their business cards, and Luke and I questioned if we should make a run for it. I finally learned firsthand how a “quick look” at a dealership could easily suck up one’s entire evening.