Congressional Candidate Says Constitution Never Uses Pronouns

Because the world isn’t weird enough, Florida republican congressional candidate Lavern Spicer has posted a series of tweets rallying against pronouns. Spicer was promptly roasted, as the thread underscores how little she understands pronouns.

One of the most widely mocked tweets is one in which Spicer claims, “There are no pronouns in the Constitution.” To be clear, the first word of the Constitution is “We,” and that is a pronoun. The opening of the Constitution is far from the only pronoun it contains. Twitter user @isles_greig actually responded to Spicer’s tweet with a count of all the pronouns in the Constitution. The final count stands at two uses of “we,” 12 uses of “they,” 20 uses of “their,” six uses of “them,” one use of “themselves,” 23 uses of “he,” six uses of “his,” four uses of “our,” and one use of “ourselves.”

In an ironic twist, they/them pronouns are almost as commonly used in the Constitution as he/him pronouns and the words she and her never appear.

In other tweets, Spicer asserted, “Jesus Christ never introduced himself using pronouns,” and “You never hear Michelle Obama mention pronouns.” She went on to show that the rant was specifically inspired by Vice President Kamala Harris introducing herself with her pronouns in a video of a meeting, writing, “I am Lavern Spicer, my pronouns are ‘KISS MY BLACK ASS,’ and I am a woman who is sick of virtue signaling leftist like Kamala Harris.”

Then somehow—though it’s unclear how this leap could have been made—Spicer started asserting that pronouns won’t get people out of paying taxes, “All that talk about pronouns but I don’t see no question about pronouns on that tax form that they send every year,” she wrote. “Your pronoun can be Donkey Kong, diddly do or Wizard of Oz but you STILL gonna pay them taxes.” She ended the tweet by stating that this was all a big distraction—a distraction from what is unclear.

This is not the first time that Spicer has made strange claims. Last year, she was among a group on the right blaming President Joe Biden for Chick-fil-A running out of sauce packets.

This isn’t even her first pronoun-based claim. In July of 2021, she tweeted, “There are no pronouns in the Bible.” Like with the Constitution, this is a provably false claim and while there isn’t a count of all the uses of pronouns in the Bible, Twitter user @jdcmedlock responded,” God insists on He/Him pronouns (capitalized) and yet has provided no proof they match His genitals.”