Bring Out the Sexy Your Own Way
It’s no secret that our perception of beauty is shaped by society’s expectations, often made worse by weight teasing, media portrayals of attractiveness, and peer pressure. In addition to creating a scenario in which disordered eating habits may develop, how we feel about our looks can significantly impact our self esteem. When it comes to dating, studies show that romantic relationships can exacerbate these feelings of insecurity and worthlessness.
Much of the research that exists is centered around cisgender females, specifically those under 18 years of age. However, nearly 80 percent of all Americans report feeling unhappy with how they look. It should also be noted that feelings of insecurity, worthlessness, and poor body image are increased in the LGBTQ population, specifically, among transgender individuals (and even more specifically, transgender females of color). One thought behind this increased prevalence is the pressure from within the LGBTQ community and societal expectations of what constitutes “masculine” and “feminine” bodies.
Dating is but one factor that may be related to body dissatisfaction and altered [unhealthy] eating habits. When we date, we double down on the pressure to fit body ideals and societal expectations of what is “attractive.” However, this does not need to be the case.
Related article: New Year, Same You– And That’s OK!
In the words of RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?” With this in mind, our goals should be centered around starting and maintaining a healthy lifestyle for ourselves—and letting everything else fall by the wayside. We all know developing a workable and realistic, healthy lifestyle is difficult—this also means it is definitely worth celebration and recognition.
Being healthy has nothing to do with weight (or body mass index, which was developed more than 50 years ago using a segregated group of study participants)—healthcare practitioners are even distancing themselves from using this as part of their assessments.
Reaching a healthy lifestyle has three components: nutrition, hydration, and movement. The idea is to focus on these aspects, which are changeable with behavior and action, to help support feelings of worthiness, beauty, success, and sexiness. Here are the basics to each component:
Nutrition
Eat at least five to eight servings of fruits and vegetables per day. One serving equals a half-cup cooked, one cup raw, or one whole piece of fruit or vegetable. Choose fried foods, processed snack foods, and candy or sweets less than once weekly. Purchase most of your foods around the perimeter of the grocery store—bakery, produce, dairy, meat or meat substitutes, and dairy or dairy substitutes. Red and processed meats (such as bacon, deli meats, and cured sausage) should be limited as much as possible. There is no need to avoid any one food or endure an overly restrictive eating plan.
Hydration
Drink those eight cups of water you keep hearing about every day. The more the better, especially in places with higher elevation. The eight-cup recommendation is purely a minimum, not the goal—the risks of overhydration are nowhere near as plausible as the risks of dehydration. Fluids containing salt, sugar, and artificial sweeteners may further dehydrate you. Simply put—there is no substitute for pure water.
Movement
Move every day; examples include walking, biking, hiking, yoga, stretching, calisthenics, and other forms of overt exercise (such as lifting weights and running). Daily movement can be quick but effective and does not need to increase your heart rate. Exercise, which does increase your heart rate, at least three times per week, but listen to your body and do what you can. There are many benefits to movement including increasing focus, self-esteem, and various other health markers.
Media portrayals of “healthy” bodies are not going to help us love ourselves. Society is not about to change its unrealistic expectations on how we “should” look. Ultimately, it is up to us as individuals to believe that health and beauty comes from within and shines out through us, not the other way around.
When we focus on improving ourselves—whether it is spiritually, mentally, or physically—we find more things to love about ourselves, which positions us to be more confident and exude radiance whenever we choose to enter the dating pool.
