Metal Meltdown: Metal Bands as Radical Community

There’s a concept that floats around the polyamorous community, via memes, posts, and other means of communication, that the best thing about being poly isn’t the glamorous stuff—sex and having multiple, hot partners to bring to functions and have on your arm. The best thing about it—and I can say from experience this is true—is what it teaches you about relationships, yourself, others, and how to relate to your community. 

By that same line of logic, I’d argue that the best things about being in a band aren’t the glamorous things you might think of, like fame and adoration, partying and overconsumption, the free drinks and big egos. The part that is truly the most rewarding are the things playing in an underground metal band can teach you about community and connection. 

Whenever you start to play music with someone, you form a special connection to that person musically. And just like in romantic or friendship pairings, that relationship is going to look different than every other connection. In a band, each member will have a connection to every other member, and then the band will have a chemistry together that is different from those pairings or from being a solo artist. 

I’ve found that as a bassist, similar to the role I like to take in relationships, I enjoy being that go-between or connecting piece that makes the parts whole. I have a connection to the drummer because we’re the rhythm section. We’re staying steady and keeping the tempo while the guitars and vocals (usually) take the lead. And I have a connection to the vocalist and guitarist because, in addition to being married, we write the string parts together and collaborate on song structures and ideas. 

Playing music with other folks also teaches about resource sharing and community connections. All of a sudden, you’re needing to split your expenses and money coming in with multiple folks, and you have to figure out how to do that in a fair and equitable way. And most bands, at least healthily structured ones, don’t have anyone in charge as a leader. Rather, they are an example of a communal collective in which everyone has a say. 

The long and short of it is, community connection and loving collaboration aren’t only for poly folks, or folks who are sexually and/or romantically active. They’re also for artists who choose to create together, and by doing so, you can learn a lot about yourself and the people around you.