Coming Out Day and Abortion: This is What Autonomy Looks Like
Last Tuesday, queer folks across the country celebrated National Coming Out Day. The day serves as an opportunity for people to share their coming out stories, come out for the first time, and take pride in surviving while queer. While it has been criticized for playing into identity politics (ie if you’re not out you’re not a “real” gay/lesbian/queer/etc), overall Coming Out Day fosters community support – and a plethora of Facebook posts.
There was another moment worth celebrating this week as well: Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health (ANSRH), a research group at the University of California in San Francisco, released their study on how women make the decision to have an abortion. Counter to the narrative being pushed by the GOP, ANSRH found that “the level of uncertainty in abortion decision making is comparable to or lower than other health decisions.”
This means that women* seeking abortions are just as sure about abortion as they are about other common medical procedures, like knee surgery, that don’t have mandatory wait times, counseling, or ultrasounds that are required in states with TRAP laws.
While the study is a step forward against abortion stigma, you might be wondering what it has to do with National Coming Out Day. Abortion and queer identity – particularly when coming out – are usually linked by one question that destroys both mental and bodily autonomy:
“Are you sure?”
Even when well intentioned, the constant doubt thrown at queer folks and those seeking abortions denies them self-determination. The idea that non-straight people are just “confused” has been used to justify the medicalization of multiple queer identities and pseudo-scientific, damaging practices like conversion therapy. Limiting abortion access by declaring that women aren’t reasonable enough to make the decision without state intervention robs those women of the right not only to their bodies, but the mental ability to decide what happens to them.
Coming Out Day gives queer folks total autonomy over their bodies and their narrative. People come out as acts of queer resistance or to stand proud in the face of discrimination and adversity. They come out to honestly represent themselves, their partners, and their families. But it also gives them the option not to come out- whether out of concern for their physical or mental safety, or whether they don’t want it to influence their public persona.
No matter how public or private a person’s identity, the discussion around coming out allows each individual to own their narrative. It’s queer autonomy that hasn’t been possible until recently, and it’s the same type of sovereignty that should be available to anyone, particularly the millions of American women who will have an abortion in their lifetime.
Coming Out Day and the ANSRH study won’t eliminate the inequality that women, queer folks, people of color, and other marginalized peoples struggle against every day. But they do make it easier for all of their perspectives to be heard, without gaslighting or patronization. In an election cycle that is becoming increasingly defined by bigotry and violence, that’s something we need more than ever.
*the writer and OUTFRONT know that cisgender women aren’t the only ones who need abortion and reproductive health care; however, it appears that the study was performed on 500 non-trans identifying women.
