A winter survival guide for people who love summer
Like most of you in Denver, I woke up with eye boogers in the corners of my sockets, a drowsy mind, and fresh snow outside the window. It’s official, winter is here, and although the snow that covered the ground this morning will most likely be melted by 3pm, it’s still a rude awakening that the days of warmth are coming to an end.
In other words, it’s time to lace up the boots, toss out the tank tops, and cry yourself to sleep at night, which now begins at 5pm. If you’re anything like me and despise the cold, then there are a few things to do to keep you sane this winter.
Layer up & cover those ears
Most of your body heat escapes through your head, so keeping it covered keeps your body warmer, obviously. But this doesn’t mean dig our your old beanie and brush the dust off if it. It holds all the heat from last year, so go out and buy a new one. Buy some earmuffs. Buy a headband. Buy anything that covers those delicate little ears. Also, don’t ignore your body from the waist down. It’s the season of layers, so throw on those long sleeve shirts under your sweaters, and tights under your jeans. Just because we have to stay warm, doesn’t mean we have to look busted.
Keep your home spotless
There is nothing more infuriating than walking into a warm house with a gross layer of grime lining the walls. Without the windows open, the airflow in your apartment, or house, or condo, or trailer is virtually nonexistent. Add that to the heat that intensifies every smell in your house, and you could be in very big danger. So don’t let things sit out. Keep the counters wiped down, and your hardwood floors swept. Make sure your pets are smelling nice. Make sure your bed linens are washed. Make sure you have plenty of candles, which can double as a sad fireplace or hosting a blood cult. Don’t be the smelly neighbor or friend, and keep up on those chores.
Hibernate
We are blessed here in Colorado to have plenty of sun. But when the sun doesn’t help the blistering cold that sweeps in during the winter, we must turn our attention to staying indoors. I’m not advocating locking yourself away from the world, but the days of reading a book in the park are over. So build up a grocery list of things to keep you busy indoors so you don’t lose your mind. Watch documentaries on Netflix. Whip out that Kindle. Start a crafting circle. Start doing yoga. Host dinner parties. Try communicating with ghosts. Don’t get lost in long naps, and re-watching RuPaul’s Drag Race and eating pizza.
Booze keep you warm
We are adults. We get to enjoy the blessings of keeping warm via alcohol. It shouldn’t be a replacement for your heat bill, but a few shots and the cold breeze may start to feel like a warm hug. Not to mention it will help you relax after a long day at the office. It’ll make the documentary on Netflix more interesting. It could turn your mundane chores into a scene from Cinderella. It will, for sure, keep your ears warm. It might even help with the crafts spread across your kitchen table … maybe.
