9 Denver hot spots Car2Go can take you

Walking to all the places I have to go in my day-to-day social life can be pretty daunting. My 6-inch heels tend to dig in to my dainty men’s size 14s until they blister with golf-ball sized lumps my grandma used to say gave her “weather telling abilities.” Well, no more!  This girl is strapping herself into a damn fine vehicle from Car2Go and is hitting up her favorite haunts.  Let me take you on my journey of possibilities:

1. Wash Park

   Our first stop is Wash Park, where the jogging pectorals of men are abundant, and the goose poop of City Park is not.  If parking is an issue, do not drive through the park grounds. Take it from me, they don’t like it.

2. First Fridays

   Next, it’s time to get my culture on with some art down at First Fridays. Nothing looks as fine as I do when I demurely step out of my Car2Go, but the other art isn’t so bad, either. They say that there are plenty of opportunities to grab some wine, but I come prepared, bringing a big bag of unboxed Franzia tucked inside my bra. I distribute my boob-wine to others, since guurrl is on a roll, and doesn’t drink and drive.

3. Light Rail Stations

   Sometimes, it’s appropriate to take my talents on a bit of a trek.  This means that employing some RTD ingenuity to get my rump on the road.  Luckily, my Car2Go works well with RTD services, and I can happily park at the most convenient light rail station

4. Red Rocks

   Nothing revs my engine more than live music, and nothing revs my Car2Go like a concert at Red Rocks!  I’ll have to shave twice that day if Jared Leto is going to be singing.

5. Denver Aquarium

   My fifth stop on my Car2Go adventure is to the Denver Aquarium.  Not only do I get to park in metered parking on the same street, but I also get to smuggle in my old weaves to make the most fabulous dolphin babies you have ever seen.

6. 16th Street Mall

   After the Aquarium, I will have worked up quite the appetite for meat.  It’s time to stop at a grill on the prestigious 16th street mall.  I won’t drive my rental along the roads any more though. The cops are getting pretty tired of chasing me. Instead, I’ll be taking advantage of the free parking at the meters downtown. Not only that, but soon there will be seven designated car spaces around downtown!  One for me, four for my wigs, one for my vast shoe collection and one for my makeup trailer.  I’m also graciously allowing any Car2Go  vehicle to take advantage of these areas.  You’re welcome.

7. Denver Art Museum

   After filling my stomach, it’s time to fill my mind with beautiful images, so I grab a 1970’s Playgirl, my Car2Go, and my eyelash glue and head toward the Denver Art Museum.  They have a unicycle fornicating a rooster exhibit, so you know I gotta hit that up.

8. Rockies or Broncos Games

   After experiencing as much culture as a person can possibly handle, it’s time to “mangina-up” if you will, and see our men in uniform line up for our amusement. Of course, after the Rockies or Broncos game, the worst part is navigating my Car2Go out of the parking lot.  Thank gawd for air-conditioning amirite?

9. Denver Botanic Gardens

   By now, I’m feeling pretty tired, and would love nothing more than to sit in my breakfast nook with the Harry Potter series, a cup of whiskey (with a shot of coffee) and some fresh flowers in a vase on my table.  Wait!  I forgot the fresh flowers!  No worries, I will jump in my Car2Go, stop by the botanic garden and clip myself some new exotic plants!

This queen is one pooped royal.  At least my feet feel great.  Just remember, anywhere you want 2 go, use Car2Go!