Head in the clouds

I recently came across a website for parents on the “warning signs” that your child is a daydreamer. The text went on about daydreaming as a “waste of time,” stopping just short of blaming the devil. I couldn’t believe it – I’ve always known that daydreaming wasn’t something you were “supposed” to do; you are “supposed” to be thinking, not letting your mind wander.

But I never thought it was that bad.

I also learned some really big thinkers were also really big daydreamers. And just when I was feeling good about Mark Twain being a daydreamer, the ultimate disaster story came out: Mark Twain is in the park with his infant child. Twain has let his mind wander down endless trails, completely ignoring the turn in the weather. The infant almost dies from exposure because of Mark Twain’s daydreaming.

Really?

Thank goodness that the Buddhists give me permission to keep daydreaming. Buddhists caution against escaping life by daydreaming, but as long as the daydreaming is the point – and I’m not doing it to escape, then I am good to go.

Most mornings I give myself time to sit and daydream. I have several morning rituals, and I make sure daydreaming is one of them. It gives my mind time to really wake from the dream state. It gives me time to gather my thoughts and feelings about what the day will bring. I stare out of the window, usually. At my old house, I used to sit on the back deck and watch birds and butterflies. It was a very peaceful way to start the day.

When I had a corporate job I used to leave extra early so that I could stroll to work. I didn’t want to break a sweat and need another shower, I just wanted time to think my thoughts or think nothing at all. I was always much easier to deal with first thing when I was able to have that time beforehand for myself.

Maybe you live in the real world with a real schedule and real traffic. I understand. I’ve done it both ways: life with daydreaming, and life without. No-daydreaming Robyn drank too much coffee, smoked too many cigarettes, drank too much everything else and had road rage. I was most definitely over-indulgent. I figured out it’s because I wasn’t allowing myself the small indulgence of mind-wandering time.

Daydreaming happens before meditation. I allow myself to let my mind wander so that I can clear debris and let it come to rest. I am able to problem solve without effort. I remember where I put things I was looking for. I find inspiration for my columns. It is not an active time for me, all while still being incredibly productive. I sit down with a cup of tea and my journal. I drink and write. Then I put it aside and let my mind wander. I used to keep checking the time. I give myself 15 minutes to daydream. Then I meditate for about 15 – 20 minutes. Now, my mind usually comes to rest in about 15 minutes and it naturally leads to meditation time. It’s such an amazing way to start my morning.

There are no limits on where your mind goes when you daydream: no restrictions or rules. If you keep daydreaming about ways to quit your job or breakup with your partner, that’s something you might want to look into more seriously. If you feel as though you need guidance, then daydream about your perfect morning. Each day allow yourself to see, feel and taste all the delicious parts of that perfect morning.

Even if it is not reality, it will be a delightful little interlude, a small indulgence that belongs to just you and allows you the freedom to do what pleases you. Then you can get ready for work.